Muffy's Series of unforcunate Events
by amator writer
Summary: Every day Muffy goes through more troublemay be raised to M
1. oral examine

Muffy gazed at the list that told her wether or not she would make the cheerleader team.

"Yes Yes Yes!" Muffy cheered jumping up and down with her hands in the air.

"What happened?" Francine and Arthur asked running over to Muffy.

"I made the cheerleading team, first name on the list!" She hollered at the two.

"How?" Arthur questioned. "You sucked during the tryout's." He added

"As a Matter a fact you didn't tryout at all." Francine stated.

"I know."

"So, how did you get on the team?"

"I had to do a little something for the judges in the parking lot."

Arthur's eyes widened at what he heard. "I could get you a spot on the school band!"

"No thanks, Arthur." Muffy ignored the offer.

"Well Francine, you want to come over to my house and practice?" Muffy asked.

"How did I get on the team?"

"You know I put a good word in for you, how else could I get a lesbian like you on the team."

"I'm not a lesbian!" Francine blasted back.

"I know, but the writer made you one."

To be continued...


	2. death from above

Muffy floated around in her big ass pool not worrying about cheerleading practice.

"Shouldn't we practice, you can suck dick to get on the team, but not to be good."

"Listen Francine, I'm a born cheerleader and I will always be."

Two Weeks Later.

It was time for Muffy to put what she learned into action, but unfortunately she didn't learn a damn thing.

The only thing the idiot animal girls knew was the pyramid

Four girls lifted up three girls and those three lifted two. Then it was Muffy who would top the pyramid.

Due to her lack of practice and balance, she fell, her head straight to the hardwood floor.

Blood slowly oozed out of her huge forehead.

Half the audience stared in shock of the monkey girls fall the other half laughed there assess off.

"Hahahaha!" That Monkey bitch fell. Cried Buster.

It was 45 minutes before anybody called 911, and when they came they waited 30 minutes until they decided to take her away.

Does Muffy die who knows


	3. Chapter 3

Mr and Mrs Crosswire stepped into the hospital there daughter was sent to.

"Is our daughter gonna be alright?" Ed questioned with fear in his voice

"We don't know, but we've done everything we could, actually we didn't do anything. The doctor said with a chuckle.

"You are aware that I have insurance and I'm a millionaire?" Ed responded

"Then we'll get right on it!" Hollered the doctor.

5 minutes later Muffy came out to her worried parent's with a bigass bandage over her head.

"Now let's get the hell out of here before they ask for money."Ed Whispered.

The End

I know that sucked but I wanted to hurry up and finish this

Next chapter Ed dies


	4. Depressing

Muffy arrived at her school eager for cheerleading practice.

Due to Christmas vacation no one saw Muffy for 2 weeks, but everyone noticed how incredibly fat she's gotten.

"Hey Muff..., DAMN! Francine interrupted herself noticing how freaking huge Muffy was.

"Wow your bigger than Binky." Francine chuckled the sentence.

"I know Francine, I know." Sighed The poor Monkey child.

"It sounds like you had a tough week." Francine attempted to comfort Muffy."

"Yes."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Francine asked

"No." Muffy answered tears rolling down her ugly ass Monkey face.

"Whew, good I really didn't want to talk to your stupid ass!" Replied Francine.

Muffy walked over to the rest of the team.

"So are we ready for practice?" Muffy questioned the girls that were there ready for practice, but could actually do the moves.

"Get the hell outta here you huge Monkey." Fern blasted at her

"Yeah King Kong!" Prunella Added

"But King Kong was a dog." Muffy retorted.

To Muffy's surprise Francine didn't defend her, in fact she just gave everyone bananas and they threw them at Muffy.

Muffy ran into the Cafeteria, where no one was there, except George who just sat there thinking about the people who were going to bother him today.

Muffy walked over and sat down next to George. "Can I talk to you?" Muffy asked her eyes still glistened by the tears forming in her eyes.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Ok, but please put those guns on the table." Muffy Begged.

George stood up and pulled out four revolvers, two 9mm handguns, a sawn off shotgun, an uzi, and a clip for the uzi.

"Ok, let's talk." insisted

"Why so many guns?" Wondered Muffy.

"Because the author always makes a homicidal, psychopathic killer who's gonna shoot up the hole school, which really isn't fair." Answered George.

"Yeah he does the same thing to me, he really needs to work on writing our characters.." Muffy Agreed.

"So what did you want to talk about?" George asked.

"Well I had a tough two weeks."

"Really, what happened?"

"Well, first I was in Quentin Tarantino's 6th film."

"Okay." George said sarcastically.

"Then I went to Paris, you know Paris Hilton and I spent a night in her."

George let out another sarcastic 'Okay'

"Then I partied with Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff, and me and Lindsay killed Hilary for giving us crappy movie's and music."

Muffy continued. " And I...

"What else did you do on this 'horrible vacation' except get fat as shit?"

"Well I had an orgy with the cast of Kill Bill and Sin City, my two favorite movies."

George sarcastically said. "And I thought my life sucked."

"Were you being sarcastic?"

"Of course I was, you had sex with people I jerk off t..."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing!"

"Listen George, it's a long story, but since the author so lazy you'll have to wait to the next chapter to hear it."

To be continued...


	5. Pulp Arthur

I don't own Arthur or Pulp Fiction

Character thoughts are in italic

"So, what do we have to do at this guy's home?" Asked a black aardvark man with who had a greasy Jeri Curl, with oil dripping down the side of his face.

"We go in there, ask him some questions about Marcellus, you give him the bible scripture, we shoot him up, and the Director yells cut." Answered the white rabbit, who was sitting next to him.

These two were Jules and Vincent to L.A local hitmen sent to whack a rich family.

The two drove up in front of a huge mansion a limo parked in front. They both got out of the car a head for the trunk. Jules opened it disappointed at what he found.

"We should have shot guns for this kind deal." He said grabbing a .45 handgun loading it.

"How many guys in there?" Vincent asked grabbing his gun as well.

"Four, ones a 8 year old defenseless girl who plays with dolls, the others a 65 year old chauffer with diabetes and arthritis, and a woman in her early forties who's probably sleep."

"Why would we need shot guns for that?"

"It doesn't matter Vincent, let's just go."

Jules and Vincent walked down the long stone path until they reached the door of the Crosswire vacation home.

_Ring Ring Ring _went the doorbell as Vincent pushed it.

In seconds a wrinkly faced dog man opened it with a frightened expression. That's when Vincent noticed he still had his gun out, still in his hand.

"Bailey, let them in you dumb dog." Ed yelled from the background.

"But Mr Crosswire he has a-

"I don't care if there are two hitmen who are gonna kill me let whoever they are in."

"As you wish." Bailey angrily responded move to the side letting to come in.

"It's as you wish Mr Crosswire, got it." Ed corrected him

Jules then pointed his gun at Ed, Vincent doing the same.

"You know who we are?" Jules said casually.

"Hell yeah, your Samuel Jackson pointing to Jules, and your John Travolta pointing to Vincent!" Ed exclaimed.

"No, you're supposed to call us Jules and Vincent; stay in character."

"What?" Ed said in a puzzled voice.

"What does Marcellus Wallace look like, and don't you fucking say what."

"Well, he's a black bear, short ears, bald head, orange suit, brown shoes." Ed answered. "That's all I can remember." He added.

"That's a pretty good description, but that's not your line." Jules said disappointed.

"It doesn't matter Jules, just give him the passage." Vincent ordered.

"Oh, yeah I memorized it to." Ed interrupted.

"Yeah but I'm supposed to say it."

"Well say it Jules." Vincent said

"There's a passage I got memorized, seems appropriate for this situation:

Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

The two men EMPTY their guns at the same time on the sitting Ed.

**1 week later**

"Yeah Muffy, I can see how that would make you sad, but you didn't explain why you look like Binky."

"Well after they shot my dad, they ordered me and my mom and bailey into there car, and this rabbit guy 'accidentally shot my mom in the face."

"Go on." George beckoned.

"Well then they were supposed to take us to some guys house, but there was so much blood on the windshield that the Aardvark man driving it crashed into a plant that processed lard.

The car went in and everybody choked on it except me."

"To bad." George said in sarcastic and disappointed voice.

"Well anyway, I had to swallow all the lard or else I would have died." Muffy assured him.

"Okay so tell me about that orgy you had, and break each detail down for each actor." George insisted.

"Well I would but the author didn't think of it yet so hey."

"Alright, time to take care of my bully problem." With that George took the guns and went out to find Binky.

"Hey, Muffy!" a distant voice yelled.

Muffy turned around in shock, the voice was very familiar.

Who was the familiar voice?

Find out next time…..

Sorry it took so long to update but I'm a real bullshiter


End file.
